


My love, lost in the wild

by dratinigirl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Titan Marco, Titan!marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 07:39:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dratinigirl/pseuds/dratinigirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean spends a year with his good friend, Marco. </p>
<p>(AU in which Marco becomes a titan after Trost. Oneshot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My love, lost in the wild

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song, 'My wife, lost in the wild'. But there are no wives involved so it became love instead. Anyway, please enjoy!

Jean couldn’t believe that this was happening. He heard the hooves of dozens of horses beating against the ground. The young member of the survey corps lay on his back, sustaining injuries severe enough to keep him from standing. After his own horse had knocked him off, he’d been let to lay. And subsequently, left for dead by the others. He tried to call out- but they were too far away to hear his feeble voice. Biting his lip, he tried to get up. It was useless.

The young man fell back into the blood stained grass, silently staring up at the clouds. So, this was it was it? All of the titans in the area had gone chasing the others on their horses. But they’d come back for him soon enough, of that he was sure. What was there now but to lay and find shapes in the clouds? There was one that reminded him of a rabbit floating along.

After a couple of minutes, footsteps came thundering in the distance. He panicked; trying to get up and scramble to a place where he could hide. Letting out a shout; he collapsed back down to the ground again. He’d hurt his leg after being thrown off of his horse. It wasn’t broken, but it wasn’t well enough to carry him anywhere. Jean held himself up with two quivering arms. The footsteps of the titan were coming closer, faster now. It had probably heard his yelp.

“Damnit... Damnit, god fucking damnit...!” He hissed as he collapsed into the grass. The pain in his body had increased due to his movement and his panic. Jean’s vision was growing burry. They boy’s heart thundered against the back of his ribcage. This couldn’t be it. He had to help the others, he had to help everyone that was trapped inside of the walls. This couldn’t happen. He’d made a promise to Marco. Marco, Marco...

As his vision faded entirely; he saw a titan’s foot enter the clearing. And maybe he was just imagining it in his last seconds before death, but the way that the monster picked him up seemed almost... Gentle.

...

When Jean opened his eyes again; a bright light filled them. His first thought was that he’d managed to get into heaven after he died. But he blinked, and noted the blue sky above him. Heaven was supposed to be in the sky. He turned his head to the side. Jean was pretty sure that the afterlife didn’t have grass and trees, either. He sat up. Definitely not heaven if he was this sore. And yet, he was in a peaceful little meadow. The wind blowed through scattered bushes and trees, along with the tall grass.

He blinked. Upon examining himself, he saw that his leg had been patched up by someone. Had the others come back for him? But how could they have saved him from the titan that had picked him up? Maybe that part had just been a dream. All of it was blurry now. He turned, expecting to see a camp of his fellow soldiers set up.

Wrong. He was met with the image of a pair of criss-crossed legs, gigantic, bits of skin missing to expose muscle underneath. Jean’s lip shook when he turned his gaze upward and into the eyes of the beast. The titan had a gaze like glass, giant eyes never moving from him. It was a fifteen meter class for sure maybe even as high as a seventeen or eighteen. Now wasn’t the time for math.

Jean’s first instinct was to let out a scream. He waved his arms and flopped over as he made any attempt to flee. A terror-stricken howl escaped him when his entire body was pressed between two gigantic fingers. They didn’t squeeze hard; just enough to keep him secure as he was transferred into the cup of a palm. Jean was brought inches from the titan’s mouth. He panted heavily, sweat pouring down onto the hot flesh of the monster.

 “Shhhhhh.”

 Jean’s breath hitched when the titan made the noise. It was a soft shushing, but enough air passed to blow his hair back. Immediately he went quiet. Was it.... Communicating? What if this thing was one of those titan shifters like Annie had been? The patterning on its skin was very similar, not that he got a proper look. This made the thing even more dangerous than an abnormal. And yet it shushed him like he was a child. Then, miraculously, it smiled. A slight curve of the lips, not the wicked grin that some of them had when they bit a man in half.

 Jean gulped. “... Hey, is someone in there?” He stammered. “This isn’t funny. What do you titan-shifting bastards want with me?” The soldier tried to use his voice to make himself sound sure of himself. He wasn’t. He was still shaking in the palm of the thing. A shrill squeak escaped him as a finger landed on his head, rubbing ever-so-softly. Was this thing just an aberrant playing a quick game of cat and mouse with him? But who else could have wrapped up his injuries? Thoughts buzzed in Jean’s mind like bees.

 The titan lowered him down a little bit, closer to his chest. Its breaths were loud, and Jean could hear the air inside of those massive lungs. He jumped again when the thing opened its mouth, revealing rows of flat teeth. For a moment he thought that the creature had decided that it was time for dinner. A strangled sound escaped from the thing’s throat. As it was followed by a few more, Jean peered at his lips. They were moving, as if to talk.

 “Aah... Ah, jah...” It struggled. The human sat and blinked dumbly at the titan.

 “Are you uh... A little tongue tied there? He murmured. For a moment he felt bad for the thing, trying so hard to get something to form in its throat. Did titans even have proper vocal chords?

 “Agh... Jeaan. Jeeaaannnn.” The titan had its face twisted up into a silly expression by this point, but it seemed happy with the sound that it was making.

Jean scooched back into the giant hand even more, as if he had somewhere to go. “Jean? That’s me.” Suddenly he was suspicious again. “How do you know my name? I want to know who you are, right now!” He demanded.

Once again, the titan tried to speak. It was having a much more difficult time this go around. The most surprising thing, though, is that it didn’t show any hostility even after Jean figured that it was a shifter. It seemed like that would only infuriate the titan. But it was compliant with anything that Jean demanded. By this point it was obvious that the thing could understand- but speaking in return was a little more difficult.

By the time that the creature had its nostrils flared in frustration, Jean put his hands up. “Alright, don’t hurt yourself... If you know me, then I probably know you. Just... I don’t know, do you have any features now that I’d recognize?” The titan looked like a couple of different people he’d known. Hair parted in the middle, a nose that was rounded at the end, and golden-brown irises. A pretty generic face, if you took away the parts where his skin didn’t cover up the muscle.

The titan knitted its brows together. Then, it covered one side of its face with the free hand that they had. Jean was confused, cocking his head to the side. The titan’s eyes very quickly rolled into the back of its head. Jean was shocked again when the titan open its mouth up wide, tongue rolling out and hanging limp. It held that expression for a long moment, half of its face still covered. Jean stared, and he thought hard.

“I don’t get it.” He said bluntly. The titan’s irises rolled back into place, and its hand came down to its side. A frustrated huff blew through Jean’s hair. Those big, brown eyes looked so familiar all of a sudden. The way that the lip curled to the side, the crumpled up sight of its nose, and finally- freckles. Big blackened dots all over its cheeks, even trailing down to what little skin covered its-his neck.

He scooted forward on his butt, unable to stand up. A fluttering hope washed over Jean’s heart all of a sudden. It was hard to find the words to speak.

“Marco...? Is that you?” He asked breathlessly.

The titan’s breath came washing over him against as it smiled. It smelled foul, but that wasn’t important at the moment. Jean was quickly lifted back up to the face of the titan. There were no words given by the creature, but the actions that he chose spoke louder.

Jean sputtered. “Marco- I mean... How are you even here? I saw you, you were dead in that alley in trost, and Annie took your gear from you and-” He stopped his excited rambling in an instant.A sudden, more sobering thought crossed his mind. “You aren’t... One of them, are you? One of those guys that came from outside the wall?”

Marco cocked his gargantuan head to the side. Jean ruffled his own hair “That’s right. You only saw Eren transform that one time. I guess you wouldn’t know about what the other ones did.” The human received a gaze of concern from the titan holding him. “Aaah, it’s nothing to worry about. Just as long as you aren’t one of them. But that makes me wonder- how did you end up... Like this? A titan, I mean. More importantly, how do you even remember the things that happened before?”

To that Marco just answered with a shrug of the shoulders. Jean frowned. “Don’t remember, huh?”  That would have been an easy lie. But this was Marco. If there was anyone that Jean could ever trust, in the whole world, it was him. Even now. Reaching over, he pat his friend on the thumb. “That’s alright. Maybe it’ll come back to you. I guess you’re just lucky to still have some humanity left in you. Maybe if we turn now we can catch the others on their way back to the wall- they’d take you in if you explained. I mean, that Hanji woman might want to poke at you, but if I could convince them-" 

Marco started shaking his head. He raised his other hand to the back of his neck, a sorrowful look in his eyes. Jean was quiet for a moment, and he looked down. “No, that’s probably a bad idea... But what am I supposed to do out here where there are titans? One of them is bound to come around eventually.”

With that, Marco stood up. It took the young member of the survey corps by surprise. If he’d been standing, then he probably would have fallen over. But he was safe while sitting. “H-hey, where are you going?” He stammered as they started to move.

“Out.” The one word came from Marco’s mouth after just a try or two. The titan reached his long arm out, and pointed in the direction of the setting sun. The blonde could only assume that he meant outside of the wall. From where they were now, it would take about a day to reach the hole in the wall Maria. Jean’s heart rate picked up. Nobody had been outside of that wall since its initial destruction years before. He kind of wished that he could see Eren, just to rub it in his gross little face.

They walked for a while, Jean bouncing in Marco’s palm. He talked a lot. About lots of things, too. Especially about how much that the human turned titan had been missed. But he also talked about he’d changed his mind to enter the survey corps over the military police, about Annie and her betrayal to mankind, about all of their friends and how they were doing. Marco seemed happy to know that some of them had survived, and sad when Jean listed off names of those he knew that hadn’t made it.

They walked until night fell. As light filtered out of the sky and behind the wall, Marco’s movements got slower. Jean remembered hearing something about titans growing sluggish after dark. They came to a beaten old village. Roofs were torn off, things lay about in pieces every way that one looked. It was a sad sight for both of them, human and titan alike. Jean reached over and grabbed Marco’s thumb.

“Hey, you’re not like that. Let’s go find some place to rest.” He muttered. The titan peering down at him nodded, and stepped into the village. He found a street between two homes that looked cosy enough. Breaking through the wall of an already demolished home, Marco pulled out old blankets from one of the abandoned rooms. He dropped them into Jean’s lap.

Still cradling the human in his palm, Marco lay down on his back between the buildings. He plopped Jean onto his chest. It was warm and flat there. Jean wondered if the sound of the titan’s thundering heart would bother him, but it was worth a shot. He’d fallen asleep to the sound a couple of times back in their trainee days. Curling up, he stared at Marco’s face. The titan was looking back at him as he made sure that the human could get settled in.

“Hey... I’m glad that you’re back.” Jean told him, voice low. For a second he thought that it might get covered up by the sound of Marco’s breathing. The titan smiled, and pet Jean’s head with his thumb. Jean grabbed it. “If... If they ever come back, and find us, maybe we can change you back into a human again. You still have the human part inside of your head, maybe your body’s just stuck in there.”

The look Marco gave him was sympathetic. He pulled his thumb out of Jean’s grasp, and leaned back. After looking at the stars above for a second, those gargantuan eyelids slipped to a close. The human on his chest followed suit. He found the way that Marco’s body moving underneath him so comforting. He stilled smelled a lot like he had in human form. But his skin was warmer, and the sound of his heart beat louder in his ears.

He expected to go to sleep, and wake up from this wonderful dream.

 

...

 

When the sun crept up over the walls the next morning, Jean woke up to the sound of a heart underneath him. Marco was already up; staring at him with narrow eyes. He lifted Jean off so that he could take a quick piss, leaning on one leg. After that, it was time to continue their journey outside of the walls. The human rubbed his growling stomach.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know where a human like me could get something to eat out here, do you?” Jean asked. Marco looked surprised. It had probably been months now that he hadn’t needed to worry about food. Then, he turned to make a detour in the way of a small forest. Most of the trees cracked beneath his feet; falling over like dry grass under his feet. Jean couldn’t look over the edge of his friend’s hand the entire time, so he was left to guess what the titan was doing down there. He figured it out when a sharp snap followed a stomp of Marco’s foot to the ground.

Jean had winced due the sudden sound and movement. When he opened his eyes up again; Marco held a bleeding... Thing in his hands. From the sight of one little hoof hanging off of the mangled clump, Jean assumed that it had been a deer fawn. His lip curled back. Couldn’t they make a fire? No, that was a bad idea. Fires drew in titans. He’d eaten raw meat before, Sasha had done it dozens of times. They were just scraps- but she stomached them. He could do it he she could. Marco didn’t exactly look happy about it either, pity in his gaze.

With his lips curled into a tight frown, Jean pulled reached out with one hand and tore something off of the carcass. Anything that didn’t have a purple color to it seemed okay to eat. The young soldier gulped at the sight of meat and blood in his hand. His stomach grumbled. Shoving more than what he could really chew into his mouth; Jean clamped down on it with his teeth. All that he could really taste was the iron of the blood. After a couple of gagging motions inside of his throat; he managed to get it down.

Marco looked at him expectantly, holding the carcass still in his other palm. Jean rubbed his stomach and forced a grin. “Mmm... Meat! It’s great!” That was a lie. But bread didn’t grow on trees, after all. It was this or going hungry. Jean took another strip of crushed meat, trying to shake off a bit of the red fluid. He faintly wondered if potatoes grew in the wild.

Jean ate what he could stomach of the animal, and Marco left it out where scavengers would pick away the leftovers. They stopped again at the river that ran through the walls, where Jean could clean his face and drink. He half expected Marco to dip his giant lips to the surface of the water like a horse. But he kept still; making sure that the smaller human was alright with his injured leg. The stop wasn’t a long one- Marco seemed intent to leave the range of the walls as soon as possible.

Lifted up into the titan’s hand again, Jean settled in Marco’s palm. He could see the broken gate leading into shiganshina in the distance. The young member of the survey corps gulped, thinking back to tales of the destruction of that city. Everyone pretended that they could sleep through the nights that Eren had woken in screams out of pity. Now he’d get a glimpse into those nightmares.

Wind rolled over them both as they passed through the crushed gate. Beyond, it was eerily silent. Homes lay demolished, whether torn open by titans or crush by giant pieces of the wall Maria. As they trudged on further, broken cobblestone rattled beneath Marco’s feet. Many of the buildings in this area had fallen victim to fire. One home in particular had a giant section of the wall crushing it. Jean could see where wood and roofing had been thrown by the hands of a titan, and he held his breakfast down. Marco let out a quiet sigh above him.

The rest of the way through the town was painful. But they made it to the breach in the wall, and Jean hoped that if he returned here, that it wouldn’t be through the same opening. He didn’t have a clue how long it would be before he could go back.

Outside the wall, it was very different. Jean had never seen the actual horizon before. It was odd, looking out and watching the world go on with barely any end. From up in Marco’s hand he could see forests in the distance, as well as planes of overgrown grass. There wasn’t a titan in sight, quite to his surprise. He’d always imagined the world outside the wall to be infested with them, piling on top of one another by the hundreds to make it over the wall. This place was kind of peaceful. 

Marco kept on moving forward. Jean didn’t know where they were going, but he trusted his old companion to lead the way. He was too occupied with watching the scenery go by. This place had been untouched by human beings for over a hundred years, aside from those in the corps before the destruction of the outer wall. Now it belonged to the titans.

They approached one of the forests, and Marco paused in his tracks. Jean looked up at him, watching the titan put one finger up to his lip. “Shhhh.” He blew quietly through his teeth, signaling for Jean to be quiet. The human understood, until Marco opened his mouth wide.

 “Marco... Hey, hey what are you-!” Jean snapped as he was lifted ever closer to the cavernous mouth. He shrieked when he was plopped onto the titan’s tongue, dampening his clothes. His heart had started pounding in his chest, and he punched Marco’s tongue with all of his might. “Stop, I thought you weren’t going to eat me! Let me out!” He yelped. A squeak escaped him when those rows of teeth clamped together; trapping him inside.

"Shhhh.”  Marco whispered again. Jean could feel the breath generated from the sound washing over him, blowing through his hair and clothes. He was scared- but the inside of the creature’s mouth was very still. It didn’t seem like he was being eaten... But why would Marco want to keep him locked in his mouth? All he could do was try to trust him, now.

 He felt the titan resume his walk forward, trees cracking underneath them while they entered the forest. Marco’s mouth was dark and wet, and the smell was getting to him now that he was wrapped inside of it. It was hot enough to make him sweat. Eventually a vein of light entered through the titan’s teeth. Jean could see outside- but more importantly, he could hear. The clear sound of grumbling titans met his ears. He felt relief- Marco had stuck him the only safe place that he could. If another fifteen meter class caught him with a human in one hand; Marco could be in trouble.

The less than pleasant ride was over after a short while, when Jean was gently retrieved from within the jaws of the titan. Marco pat his damp head with a finger. It took a couple of tries, but he managed to mutter a short ‘sorry’. Jean accepted his apology, asking him to avoid doing it again if it was possible. It was very comforting to hear Marco’s voice. It was deep, and it had a weird ring in it, but it was a voice. Jean wondered if he would get better at talking over time.

They travelled for a long time. About three and a half days, to be exact. Jean wondered if Marco intended to walk him to the end of the earth, so that they could sit and stare down at it together. And when they finally stopped, Jean was convinced that that was what his friend had done. They arrived at a sandy shore together, where a mass of water as far as the eye could see lapped against the sand. It was a mix of horrific and beautiful.

Marco sat him down in the sand. Jean could get around now, though he had to limp heavily. The soldier was a little apprehensive about going closer to the water. It was a different color than what he was used to. It was such a deep, pretty shade of blue... The rivers and streams in the walls had all been clear. He knelt down and cupped some of it in his hands. The fluid even had a weird feel to it. Was this stuff even water? He tipped some of it into his mouth; and sputtered. Whatever it was, it was too salty to even think about drinking.

He heard a peculiar sound come from behind him as he sputtered, water flying in every direction from his mouth. Jean looked over his shoulder to see Marco, covering his mouth up with one hand. The human could tell from the way the holes in his skin curled that he was hiding a grin. Jean splashed some water on the titan’s feet, and he heard him laugh. It was an otherworldly sound- but it made the young soldier want to chuckle along with him.

They left again to find fresh water, travelling just until the sun set. Jean felt a bit uneasy out in the open, but they hadn’t seen another titan in a day. It made sense that they would be rare in areas far away from the last scraps of humanity. It left Jean to wonder how large their world was, if there were other places where human beings had learned to survive. But now all his worry was directed towards making the night alone with his friend.

Feeling safe enough to make a fire on the beach, Jean sat leaned against Marco’s foot. The big water had a lot of fish that he’d never seen before inside of it. They tasted good enough when cooked over a flame. At least he had time to think now.

“Hey... I think this place is called the ocean. Don’t you remember that night where we all stayed up late, and Armin told us about the big water? Said that he’d read about it in some old book. He looked the same way that Eren does when he talks about destroying all of the titans out there.” Jean curled his lip in a small snarl. “Not that I blame him. Disgusting titans... We’ll find a way to kill them all. Except you. We can turn you into a human again.”

Marco tapped Jean’s head with his thumb. The young man rubbed the spot as if it had hurt. “What? You know that I wouldn’t let them kill you, they’d have to go through me first.” He said with a smile. Looking back at the titan, he noticed that it looked saddened. “...What’s that look for? Don’t you believe me?”

Marco’s mouth opened. Jean gave him time to speak, forming each word slowly. “Titans... Not bad.” He managed, and then he paused. “Sick. Very sick.”

“What do you mean, sick?” Jean questioned. “They’re sick in the head, that’s for sure.” He folded both of his arms across his chest. Of course titans were bad. They devoured people whole with smiles on their faces. They destroyed nearly all of humanity. But, where did they come from? That question jumped into Jean’s head. He hadn’t questioned more than once how Marco’s mind had been put inside of a titan’s body. He’d been eaten in half by one of them. Could that have had something to do with it? He’d heard horror stories in the legion, titans that looked like fallen comrades. Titans had to reproduce somehow- could they turn humans into one of them after eating them?

It was a pressing question, but Jean knew that he would just frustrate himself if he kept thinking on it. He really wanted to talk to Marco about it, he had always been so smart and full of good points. Unfortunately, his friend was tongue tied for a little while. Jean sighed through his nose, watching the sun drop behind the rolling ocean waves.

“Hey, Marco...” He muttered. The titan looked down at him; paying attention to what he said. “How about we stay here for a while? Just me and you. We don’t have to go back to the others yet. I think I like it here. Unless you’re in a hurry.” Jean tilted his head back; looking up into Marco’s giant eyes. The titan nodded his head in agreement. It looked as if he didn’t mind the idea.

Jean rolled over onto his side, nestled in the curve of Marco’s foot. “Alright then... We’ll make this home.” With a yawn, he set off to rest.

 

...

 

Several months passed there. That summer had been the most wonderful that Jean had ever had. Marco knocked down trees with his feet and tore the branches with his fingers. It only took a day to build a small cabin, nestled on a hill about a quarter mile from the sea shore. Mapping out the location in their minds, the two travelled back inside the walls for a short time. They more or less pillaged shiganshina. Marco could carry all of the supplies that Jean would need for a long time in bags around his neck. A bed, a wide array of knives, and as many matches as they could possibly find.

By the time autumn rolled around; Jean had a cozy little home. Marco, however, seemed perfectly content with living and sleeping under the stars. He picked up speech again very quickly- though some words were still difficult to push out. He didn’t sound at all like he used to, but the tone that he used was the same. He scooped Jean up into his mouth if another titan ever came stumbling through the area, keeping him safe until it was out of sight. Besides the occasional scare or storm; things were good. Jean couldn’t really say that he missed life inside the walls. All that he needed was Marco by his side.

Jean was making his own advances. Still just a growing boy himself, the work required by living out in the wilds kept his body toned. He wished that he would have picked up some of the abandoned gear during their supply run in Shinganshina. It would have been great to keep in practice with it out here- but they planned to make another trip before winter came. Maybe they would be met with a patch in the wall; if all was going well on the other side. Jean hoped for the best for all of his old friends; but he was in his own private paradise by the sea.

One night, the autumn chill had started to set in. There wasn’t a proper place to start a fire inside of the cabin, and even under the covers it was cold. He grabbed the thickest blanket on hand, and stepped out of the cabin’s door. It was dark out, and his titan companion had taken to falling asleep. Approaching him slowly, Jean tapped his friend on the cheek. The titan’s body radiated heat like a furnace.

The giant face turned toward him. One eye open, Marco silently wondered what the matter was. Jean chuckled a little in the dim light. “Hey, uh... Do you mind if I sleep on you somewhere tonight? It’s a little bit cold inside of the cabin.” The human shivered for dramatic effect. Marco rolled his eyes, and picked Jean up between his index finger and thumb. The human climbed onto his chest; and slept directly over his heartbeat. It reminded him of his first night spent with the titan.

Even though the soothing sound lay beneath him, even though he was warm, Jean tossed and turned. A groan made Marco’s whole chest vibrate. “Jean... Sleep.” He grunted.

Jean, in turn let out a sigh. “I can’t.” He stated. Marco lifted his head up and stared at him.

“What’s wrong?” The titan asked in concern. Jean stood up on his chest and walked towards his face; sitting in the dip of Marco’s collarbone. He wrapped his blanket around both shoulders and crossed his arms.

“Maybe it’s because the weather’s been changing recently. I’ve lost track of the date... I think that it’s probably October by now.” Jean went on talking, breath escaping in thin clouds. He took a brief peek up at the stars- there were more of them out here. Then he looked back to Marco with a small grin.

The titan moved his hand, and pet Jean on the head. This caused the young soldier to chuckle gently. “What? Are you gonna rock me to sleep or something?” He asked.

Marco shook his head, moving his index finger away from Jean’s hair. The digit was practically the same size as his body, poking and prodding around at him. It stopped to start rubbing at the boy’s chest rapidly in an attempt to tickle him.

Jean let out an unmasculine noise as his nerves were lit up by the sensation. He couldn’t help but laugh, the sound coming out of his throat against his will. The boy grabbed Marco’s finger and tried to push it away. It was no use. The titan had him pinned, a maniacal sort of grin crossing his face as he tormented his companion.

“Stop, stop!” The blonde howled, kicking Marco’s hand with both feet. “I give up, please!” He cried breathlessly; tears running out of his eyes. The titan pulled back and let him breath. Jean sat back up again; a cocky grin spread over his features. “Ha... Nice try, but I’m still not tired. At this point I’ll just have to stomp around on your forehead all night.”

He gasped when his comment was met with a firm bump to the gut. He thought Marco was trying to knock him over, but his feet remained planted. He was surprised when the appendage moved lower down his body. It took a second for Jean’s brain to digest what was happening. His eyes turned downward; where Marco rubbed at the middle of his crotch; a coy grin on his face.

Was this actually happening? Jean’s head suddenly flew back to all of the nights where he’d wanted those hands on him. Quiet moments in the trainee bunks where he’d listen to the other boy’s breath, sometimes brushing their backs together; along with long evenings spent curled up by himself at the survey corps headquarters; covered in tears and other fluid. He’d wanted Marco for such a long time... But was this alright? He was a titan now after all. Things couldn’t be the way that he wanted.

But, as long as it was him, Jean didn’t care what body he had.

“Shit... Keep doing that.” The boy breathed, biting down on his lip. Marco’s touch was so gentle on him. He could squish Jean’s skull between two fingers; but that same hand had the ability to give him this wonderful pleasure.

There was a quick shift as Marco sat up, moving to hold Jean in his palm. In turn, the human released his cock from pants stolen out of the town ruins. His breath shook when Marco continued to rub his shaft, throbbing under the delicious heat of his titan flesh. “Fuck, Marco-” He gasped, then let out a small chuckle. “I’ve wanted this since our second year of training, you know.”

Marco returned a grin. He leaned over; bumping Jean with his nose. “Since the first.” He murmured. The voice was deeper, but those words came out the same as they would have if he were still human. Jean let out a moan, leaning forward a little into the touch. His heart and his stomach both felt hot, for the same and for different reasons.

He let out a whine when Marco pulled back. “Take your clothes off.” The titan requested, bringing Jean up closer to his eyes. Jean was quick to comply; his clothing fluttering to the ground below them. The soldier was more flustered than he would admit when Marco’s eyes landed on him, getting a long look at his form. Jean rubbed one arm.

“Hey... Don’t you want me to do something for you too? This doesn’t feel fair.” Jean took a moment’s break from his usual selfishness to ask. Marco blinked in visible surprise, that sweet expression melting back over his face.

“I don’t feel like that anymore. It’s alright.” He replied. The words washed over the human’s body. It didn’t seem fair that Jean couldn’t return the feelings. It was the last thing on his mind though, after a second. Marco had opened his mouth and stretched his tongue out; licking Jean’s cock with the tip. The boy’s breath hitched in his throat. Marco’s tongue was hot and wet on his dick, rubbing up and down with the slightest movements. This was wrong, letting a titan slobber on him like a lollipop... But they were the only ones who had to know.

Jean’s hips bucked against the gigantic wet organ. His breath was heavy and wild- the fact that Marco had his eyes glued to him only made him hotter inside. The coil in his belly grew tight, and he let out a pleasured sob. “Marco... Marco, shit- I’m so close.” He hissed. That encouraged the titan, and he picked up the pace. Jean let out a long, low groan as he melted into the sensation. He shot his seed onto Marco’s tongue with his eyes screwed shut. When he opened them again, he cracked a smile. Marco was grinning back at him in the night’s dim light, watching him tremble in the aftermath of his climax. Jean rubbed the titan’s thumb. “I love you, big guy.”

Jean never thought that being kissed by a titan hundreds of times would make him feel so happy.

 

...

 

Time went on. Winter came finally, covering the world around them in endless stretches of snow. It was too cold to go swimming in the sea anymore. The unlikely pair spent their days together, short as they were becoming, wrapped up together. Though they sometimes went running through the snow when it fell, Marco’s steps sending up clouds of the stuff. Land animals were a lot harder to come by around this time, so Jean ate so many kinds of fish that he’d started making names for the different species.

Trouble arose when Jean grew sick for a little while. He spent nearly two weeks curled right up next to Marco. The titan cried out of worry; big tears that were like a bucket of hot water being dumped onto Jean’s head. He wondered if he’d make it himself, waking up and feeling like he was frozen to the bones. It was a stressful time for both of them.

Just when it seemed like the worst was coming, the cold season broke into spring. The world around them turned lovely and green; and Jean recovered. The way that the new green grass stood against the ocean was one of the most beautiful things that Jean had ever seen. This is what the guys back inside of the walls were fighting for, he thought to himself one morning. It was the dream that cost so many people their lives, the one thing that caused sparks in the eyes of kids as little as twelve years old. He felt a bit selfish for taking it all for himself and Marco- but what was the harm in appreciating what you were given?

Out of boredom, Jean started crafting homemade tools. He’d never venture out of Marco’s sight as long as they were in the land of titans; but for now he could at least try hunting for himself. At first it was very hard. His first hunts took place during the rainy season, where it would pour from the heavens for days. The sea was a frightful thing during a storm, and he was glad that he’d chosen a place to live far enough to feel safe. But when the storms cleared up and the sea calm again; he learned to bag creatures left and right. They were useful for food, and the bones proved to have purpose in his life as well. He and Marco had never taken that second run to the walls- so new tools were a godsend.

Along with the budding of spring, their relationship grew closer as well. Jean thought at first that it would be hard to love a titan. Given the immense physical differences, it should have been. But that didn’t stop him one bit. Jean would lay back in Marco’s palm and count his freckles, and he’d kiss his fingers over and over until his lips became dry. Marco in turn would spend hours petting him and playing with his hair- it had grown long over all of this time. He spent long evenings pleasuring him, though the titan himself couldn’t feel any sort sexual urge anymore. He made the most wonderful noise when he was happy. It was like the coo of a pigeon and the purr of a cat mixed into one, and it only came out when he was the most cheerful. Jean wouldn’t miss that if he turned his friend back into a person again.

All in all, life was peaceful and perfect. Hardly a titan ever came through anymore, and usually it was just a bumbling three or four meter class. The ocean remained calm, and the land around them offered enough for a hundred men to eat. Jean had never been better- and he only hoped that his lover felt the same.

It was a windy afternoon in what seemed like early May, and the two walked alongside each other through tall grass. Rather, one walked while the other jogged to keep up with his strides. Jean had kept a similar regimen to the one in the trainee corps after he’d gotten so sick the winter before. They didn’t have any destination in general, just walking through fields that remained unexplored. The smell of the ocean was still here, and Jean could see those white birds flying overhead. He called them fishing angels, because they were white, and able to snatch a fish out of the water without a glance.

“Nice day, isn’t it?” Marco asked from above. “How long have we been here?”

Jean kept up his pace, and thought. “Good question. If it’s may now, then it’ll have been a year in just a few weeks. Hardly seems like that long... I bet everyone else has forgotten about me by now.”

Marco turned his head down. “Not true. Friends don’t forget about each other like that.” He said firmly. He slowed down a little as Jean began to grow tired.

“Eh, most of them have more important things to worry about than me. It seems like some of them just forgot about you and the others.” Jean replied, his tone a little bitter. “I guess we had more important things to think about... When you’re in the survey corps, you kinda get used to watching everyone around you die. If you’re in it for too long then you start to turn a little cold. It’s hard to want to make friends with someone who’s gonna die next week.”

Marco nodded silently. “Would you like me to carry you now?” He asked. Jean nodded his head; waiting to be picked up. His titan friend placed him right in the cup of his palm, still walking forward. Jean scanned the area, holding one hand over his eyes to keep the sun away. He looked out over the edge of the nearest wood, and blinked. At first glance he thought that he saw a herd of deer running around, and his second thought was that they were very dark colored deer.

“Marco... Are those horses?” Jean asked, peering even harder. The titan holding him turned in that direction to look.

“Yeah. There are people on them. I think it might be the survey corps.” Marco replied. Both of them were silent for a moment, watching the horses out in the distance carry soldiers on their backs. Jean wondered. Why were they out this far? It would have taken a whole week to move out this far on horseback. Were they lost? Either way, they were heading closer.

“Jean. What should we do?” Marco asked him. “I don’t... I don’t want to die again, what if they try to kill me?” He had wide eyes; locked onto the horizon. Jean bit his lip. It was a tough decision. But, surely, if Marco could talk and communicate that he meant no harm, then he’d be safe. They wouldn’t kill someone who could still be considered human. Or, mostly human.

“Wait here. Let’s see if they come any closer. I don’t know if they can see us yet.” Jean told him after a long moment of thinking. “Whatever you do, stay out in the open. They can’t use gear on you if there isn’t anything to move with. You’re about a seventeen meter class, it shouldn’t be too hard to get their attention before they start swinging swords.”

Marco nodded at him. They waited, and the party came closer. There were six horses in total heading their way. Nobody shot any flares, however, so Jean assumed that they were alone out here. It raised more questions in his head, but he didn’t have time to think so hard. They slipped into the trees, and Marco started backing up.

When they came galloping out of the wood, Jean watched Marco raise his hand up and wave. They were still a ways off; but definitely able to see the pair of them now. Maybe since Marco was using a friendly gesture, they’d be less inclined to kill him right away.

Jean smiled. “Hey, they’re slowing down!” He exclaimed. Suddenly, the rest of the horses broke away, leaving one to run towards them at full throttle. “Wait... Marco, I think you should-”

It was then that the sky turned red and green. Thunder clapped overhead, and a massive strike of electricity connected with the ground. Jean bellowed for Marco to run- but the titan was frozen in place. He had his eyes glued to the site where the lightning had struck so suddenly. As Jean had thought, the body of Eren’s titan came bursting out.

Jean pulled a knife out of his pocket, and stabbed Marco in the palm. That broke his trance finally, and he took off in the opposite direction. Marco pressed Jean up against chest; holding him tight. The titan didn’t know what to do. He could hear Jean shouting something, but it was too muffled to understand. The sound of Eren’s footsteps coming after him resonated like thunder in his ears. If he caught up to him, that would put Jean in danger. He had to think of something, anything, to keep him safe.

Taking a risk; Marco opened his hand. He and Jean’s eyes caught each other for one second; before he stopped. Jean yelped as he was dropped on the ground, tossed several feet. It didn’t hurt him- but it left him in a panic. Marco had turned to face the titan that barrelled toward him, opening up his arms to intercept the attack. Jean hadn’t seen Marco like this before. Steam poured out of his mouth and nostrils. A wild look filled his eyes.

Jean made quick to jump up. He jumped up and down, shouted, and waved his arms, doing anything to get Eren’s attention. A horrendous smack occurred when the two titans collided. Marco had Eren’s fists wrapped in his hands, a terrifying hiss rising out of his throat. The two titans pushed against one another, roaring, grappling with each other like gods. Blood flew- they took horrible damage, both of them. Jean continued to scream so loud that his throat hurt; but their voices reigned over his own.

Marco bellowed like something out of hell, tossing Eren in the opposite direction. Steam rose off of him in clouds and dissipated into the air. The standing titan glared at the one that he’d thrown. He hadn’t felt anything like this before- it was the urge to hurt, and kill. It was the feeling of being inside of a titan’s body- but it mixed with his desire to keep his love safe. He watched the other titan stand himself up again; raising his fists up to take him again. Something caught his eye down below.

Marco lost his focus for a second, watching Jean bounce up and down at his feet. Eren was moving towards him fast again, and Jean would be crushed if he moved. His eyes shot wide open, and he began to wave his hands as well.

“Stop, stop!” He shrieked. The grass around them quivered from the volume of his voice. But, it made Eren stop in his tracks. Marco took the opportunity to bend over and scoop Jean up again, cupping him in his hands. The human’s words finally had a chance to get across. Eren’s head turned toward him, and his malformed jaw hung open by just a foot.

“Eren- listen, it’s me, Jean!” He cried from on the titan’s palm. “You know, dickhead, horse-fae Jean? Don’t hurt him, he’s a friend! Please listen to me!” His voice cracked as he called out. It took a moment’s hesitation, but Eren seemed to be backing off.

In the minutes afterward, the rest of the legion members came riding on their horses after a signal from Eren. He kept to his titan form while the others rode up. With him weCorporal Levi, Armin, Sasha, Connie, and Mikasa. Marco let Jean down, and his fellow graduates dismounted their horses and came running up to him with questions. How had he survived, how had he lived, who was that titan, too many to answer just then.

Eren left his titan body at the order of the corporal. The small man kept an eye on Jean, suspicious. He had every right to be, the blonde knew. He was probably being accused as a shifter by this point. Eren joined the group of people crowded around him- and Marco remained still while his wounds healed up.

“Kirschtein, tell him to come out of that body.” The corporal’s voice cut through the others. “I want to know why you’ve been missing for a year, with a titan carrying you around. And how long has it even been since you bathed? You look like you walked out of a cave.” He sneered.

Jean turned to him, and gave a salute. “He can’t leave that body, sir. He’s a titan. He still has his memories of being a human though. Somehow, after trost he was turned into a titan. He can talk like a human and everything.” He explained. “I was injured in the field, and he bandaged me and took me in. I had no way to return without putting both of our lives in danger.”

“Does he remember who he was, at least?” The officer asked; turning his head to look up at the titan.

Marco opened his mouth. Curling his arms into a nervous salute, he peered down at the lance corporal.

“Marco Bodt, sir.”

 

...

 

They party grouped together in Jean’s cabin. On the way back they explained that they were here looking for a village full of titan shifters- but instead of finding a mountain range, they came in contact with the ocean. They left their horses and Marco outside, where he had to sit in a nervous ball. They had bread, and he provided meat with Marco’s help. The group sat on the floor to eat. Jean couldn’t answer all of their questions fast enough. 

Connie piped up. “So, you mean Marco just turned into a titan? And he remembers everything but how it happened?”

Jean nodded. “Yeah, that’s about it. He was watching the rest of the corps ride by when he saw me get tossed off of my horse. He came to check if I was still alive, and when I woke up he’d put my leg in a splint.” He gulped down a piece of bread. “I’ve nicknamed him the gentle titan- he’s picked up birds without hurting them."

“And you two have been living by the ocean for this long? That’s amazing. Aren’t there titans in this area?” Armin asked.

Jean took a sip of water from a canteen. “Sometimes. If one comes through, he usually just sticks me in his mouth. You know, to cover up the smell. I haven’t seen one in about six weeks though- they don’t come around often.”

“You do know that you can’t stay here with him forever, right?” Mikasa added. Jean couldn’t see her mouth behind her scarf. Jean put his canteen down.

“...I know that. I was planning to return to the walls with him one day. But we wanted to think of a plan that wouldn’t get us both killed by you guys. I think... I think that maybe there’s some way that we could turn Marco back into a human again. He says that titans reproduce by eating people- but he doesn’t know any more than that. Have you guys found anything?”

The others were quiet. All except for Sasha put their food down in front of them. This time, Eren spoke up. “There’s a mixture that Hanji made up last month that’s supposed to do that. But we haven’t tested it out on anyone besides titan shifters.”

“Did it work?” Jean asked, hopefully. Eren nodded his head. Suddenly the blonde had a string of hope in his heart.

Levi took his turn. “However, it has never been tested on an actual titan before. We haven’t caught one for examination. If your friend eats it, he could turn into a human again... Or it could kill him. We brought several bottles of it with us, if he’s willing to take the chance.”

Those words echoed in Jean’s ears. There were two choices, one or the other. Marco could remain a titan forever, or until killed... Or he could take the chance of dying for his humanity. It wasn’t his choice to make. Marco would have to decide that for himself. Jean took the last bite of his bread, and stood up.

“I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Good.” The corporal replied. “I’d like to have your reply by tomorrow morning. We’ll be staying here for the night, if it isn’t any trouble.”

Jean nodded his head. He felt too shaken to answer. Stepping outside, he approached Marco several feet away. He was occupied with petting the horses, and his content expression turned to one of worry as Jean approached. “What did they tell you?” He asked, trying to keep his voice as low as he could.

“They found a way to turn you into a human again-” Jean nearly winced when Marco’s face lit up in a smile. “Wait, don’t smile like that, please. They told me that it could kill you. They haven’t tested it on a titan before- only shifters. It’s designed to destroy the titan part, and to keep the human part alive.”

Marco’s grin fell quickly. He blinked; absorbing the information. “...I don’t have any other options?”

“Not unless you want to live the rest of your life as a titan.”

The creature bit his lip, hugging his knees where he sat. Jean rubbed his hand over his lover’s leg, careful not to touch the exposed muscle. “You’ve got until tomorrow morning to make a decision. But... If you do want to stay a titan, I’ll stay here with you. I’ll convince them to let me stay here, and we can keep living like we have.” He assured the titan.

“Thank you.” Marco’s voice shook. He seemed near his bucket tears again, faced with a decision like this so suddenly. “I’ll know in the morning.... Jean, will you sleep out here tonight?”

“Sure thing, Marco.” Jean smiled; being lifted into his lover’s palms. Marco cradled him, huge tears falling down with a splash. Jean leaned up against Marco’s nose, kissing it. “I love you, Marco.”

“I love you too.” Marco managed.

Jean hoped that these titan kisses wouldn’t be the last ones that Marco gave him.

 

...

 

Unfortunately, morning had to come. Jean woke up laying in a ball on top of Marco’s chest. The titan was staring up at the morning sky with eyes half-lidded. Jean rolled over onto his stomach, but he didn’t move his gaze.

“....So? Did you make a decision?” The human murmured. “The lance corporal will be up soon enough, and he’ll want a response.”

Marco sighed through his nose, and a wave of steam came from his nose. “I want to be human again.” Was all he said. Jean didn’t ask him anything more, just nodding his head. He lay on Marco’s chest, listening to the sounds that he made inside. They were comforting. Marco used a pair of fingers to rub his back, making Jean sigh.

About fifteen minutes passed when the sound of voices could be heard from the cabin not far away. There was some business to be attended to first. Breakfast consisted of porridge heated over a fire, and the horses needed feeding and watering as well. Jean couldn’t stomach anything. He remained sitting on one of Marco’s knees, lost in thought.

Levi came walking up to the titan and his human companion, wrapping his signature cravat around his neck. “So, what will it be?” He asked. The others had turned their heads; all looking at Marco’s expression.

“I’ll take it.” He responded. The others seemed surprised to hear a titan’s voice shake, much less see one in fear. Marco was sweating drops off of his chin, his hair damp on the ends.

The other members of the survey corps crowded around. The commanding officer pulled a large vial from a pouch on his side. The contents were an unnatural shade of purple like nothing Jean had ever laid eyes on before. “Drink the entire thing. It’s going to hurt even if it doesn’t kill the human inside of you.”

Marco gulped. He took the glass container from Levi’s hand and glared at it. Meanwhile, Jean hopped down from his knee to join the others. Marco looked to him, as if to ask for some kind of guidance. Jean clenched his fists together. All he gave was a small nod, and Marco returned it with a determined expression.

Jean felt like his heart might pop when Marco tipped the liquid into his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the others looking almost as worried. Maybe... They had missed him. Both he and Marco. He had been their friend, and their mentor, and they looked up to him just as much as he had- and now they were going to have to watch him die again. All except for the corporal, who had never met the boy during his days as a trainee.

Marco placed the bottle on the ground when he’d drained it to the very last drop. Nothing seemed to be happening yet- nobody had said anything about how long it took the potion to work. Marco’s complexion started to pale, blood draining out of his face. Levi motioned for everyone to stand back- but Jean couldn’t make himself move.

The titan started to cough. He made panicked noises, not words, but the primitive groans of a titan. He might not have had any words. His voice erupted, and Marco’s mouth opened wide. His jaw stretched all the way, ripping the flesh of his cheeks. He screamed as he continued to claw and scrape at the nape of his neck.

“Marco-!” Jean made to run to him, but he was held back. He had tears welling up in his eyes, shouting until the titan’s shrieks and howls of agony. By now Marco’s entire body had erupted into steam, dissolving, legs collapsing beneath him as the muscle evaporated into thin air. Soon his lungs had been destroyed, and he could no longer scream.

Jean covered his eyes. Marco’s body was little more than a crumbling skeleton now, what remained of his muscle floating off into the atmosphere. He didn’t even know who was holding him back. It felt like Sasha, but he didn’t care. Jean sputtered for air, digging his face into the nearest shoulder. The hiss of steam behind him rang in his ears, making his brain vibrate painfully.

He heard sharp breathing, and wondered if one of the others had broken out like he had. Jean found the power to lift up his head, looking at the others around him. They all had their eyes focused in one direction, back at the evaporating corpse. Jean turned his head around, hoping that most of it would be gone.

A clump of muscle lay on the ground, melting into a hot puddle of goo by the second. Something white stood from it; making unearthly noises. It bent over, and something red flew out of its mouth. Then the noises stopped- and the red marring its surface evaporated.

Marco, out of breath, his vision marred by steam, turned his head towards where the others had been. Panting like a dog, he blinked. “...Did it work?” He asked. The boy heard his own voice come out of his lips, and he covered up his mouth.

Jean was on him faster than lightning. He had his arms wrapped around his lover, naked and blood soaked as he might of been. “Marco, Marco!” He cried out. He felt the embrace returned; a wetness spreading across his back. Both of them stayed locked together as the meat below them dissipated into nothing. Jean’s tears of grief turned into those of bliss. “I thought you were a goner, I  thought I was going to have to watch you die again.” He sobbed. Jean broke down, caring less about the people watching them.

“I thought that I was going to die.” Marco told him, grinning so hard that it hurt. He laughed the tears out of his eyes; the last drop of blood dissipating off of his skin. “I’m back, don’t cry Jean.” He implored. Marco pulled back; trying to wipe the tears off of the other’s face. “Ha, look at that. I don’t have to worry about hurting you anymore.” He rubbed his hands all over Jean’s face, pressing his cheeks together and then pulling them.

The blonde laughed as someone approached them, carrying a pair of trousers from inside the cabin. Shaky on legs that he wasn’t used to, Marco managed to slip them on. He and Jean didn’t let go of each other for a long time- it gave the others time to explore the sea while he recovered from regaining his body. They were to spend the day at the cabin, and then return back to the recaptured Wall Maria the following morning. There were going to have to be shared horses, but it would be alright.

The pair remained inside of the cabin; huddled together on Jean’s mattress. Desperate kisses were exchanged, touching each other everywhere that they couldn't reach before. Clothes were ruffled, hair was a mess, the sound of teenage boys making awkward moaning noises filled the room.

“Ha, how’s it feel to be able to get turned on again?” Jean asked after biting Marco’s lip. The other replied with a quick chuckle under his breath.

“Amazing. It’s time for you to return about a hundred and one favors.” Marco chimed, unzipping the pants that he’d been given. His face was flushed like it never had as a titan. His eyes shone the same way though, and he was the same old Marco that Jean had always held so dear. He would have loved him until the end, even if he had wanted to stay a titan for the rest of his days. It didn’t matter where they were, what they had to go through, or who told them to quit- they were together. And they could do and be anything.

Jean kissed Marco one more time, holding both of his freckled cheeks in his palms. “We’ve got time.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I've been wanting to write this forever, so I used my snow day today to write it! First fic in a while, I hope I kept the characters somewhat IC. Please, if you ever post something for it on Tumblr, please tag it as the title without the comma. I would really appreciate reviews, as I worked very hard on this whole thing! Thank you for reading!


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